Birthday Wishes to the World

Today is my birthday!!

I am so excited and grateful to be alive on this beautiful planet and to be blessed with all the people, experiences and lessons that I have come to know.

My birthday wish today is to make a profound impact on people all over the world in some way and, somehow, to make their lives better.

This year I am already obsessed with improving myself and the way I live and interact with the world around me. I am creating a job that I am obsessed at being the best at and I am on a trajectory that I know is going to be amazing. And I am finally enjoying the journey of every day, the subtleties and nuances of hours minutes and moments. I feel like life is no longer a future event that I am always struggling and leaning forward to reach. Life is what I’m doing. Life is what I am.

I don’ know how things seemed to magically have clicked in my brain, but I’m ok with not knowing. I’m content to exist in a grateful state of awe and I accept this gift with an open heart and an open mind.

This is what I wish for everyone on this planet including you, dear reader: to feel a connection with life and with the people and environment around you; to be fully alive and enjoy the fleeting present moments and use your past lessons to successfully navigate through challenges towards a beautiful future of your dreams that you design and pursue every day. To live with purpose, hope, and faith in yourself, your Creator, and the good in all of us. And above all, that you give yourself permission to experience love to its fullest, in how you treat yourself, our home planet Earth, and all living things. We are all connected, from our first birthday to our last and beyond.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Ever had one of those times when you were just be-bopping along in conversation and, all of a sudden, something unnecessary and-quite frankly-horribly put comes shooting out of your mouth like a word-turd cannon?

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I orchestrated one of those experiences the week before Christmas.  I was having a phone conversation with someone who I both like and respect and all was going well.  Out of nowhere, a series of words sparked a chain reaction that struck the chord of memory-one memory in particular that was not what I would call savory.  Said memory ignited a trigger that instantly released afore-mentioned word-turds into the atmosphere, plunging the mood and conversation into cold, uncertain silence.

After trying to make light of the faux pax with a joke and later sending a post-call apology text, I eventually found myself wallowing in an abysmal spot somewhere between self-flagellation and self-pity (must be the Protestant in me).

“I’m *supposedly* an adult-how have I not mastered verbal communication yet?” Questions such as this nagged at my psyche like a teething puppy with tiny teeth not sharp enough to draw blood, but definitely sufficient for a nagging-good gnawing.

I must confess I spent a good little bit of time wallowing before I remembered that it’s ok to make mistakes and that I need to handle myself with care.  I gave myself permission to mess up and learn and changed my attitude to be more loving and kind instead of frustrated.  This was extremely helpful as separating myself from the emotional aspect of the situation allowed the more cognitive, rational part of my brain to engage and weigh in on what had happened.

I began to look at the situation from an outsider’s perspective, like I was helping a friend understand what they had gone through as an impartial bystander.

What I realized is that, the trigger that had set the whole process in motion-the string of words-was not the problem.  They weren’t offensive, mean or meant to illicit any type of painful reaction.  The problem was that they reminded me of a situation that had occurred many months before, in which I had experienced a negative, somewhat painful emotion based on the other person’s actions.  Digging a little deeper, I realized that the outdated scenario was still lodged in my subconscious like a tiny stone in one’s shoe: easily ignored until it comes in contact with an old not-quite-healed wound.

Why does this still bother me? I asked myself.  I had made the conscious decision to let it go, and had generally moved on from it.  The answer came: I experienced something that was hurtful or upsetting and I did not express this at the time it happened.  In essence, by not sharing the tiny rock, I was unable to throw it away and instead stuck it down in my shoe for safekeeping.

Though unintended, I had made the decision to create a weak spot within myself that was susceptible to provocation, which ultimately let to its inevitable expression, albeit at a less appropriate time.

The lesson?

Speak my truth and express my feelings at the time when something happens.

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I have no doubt that this person would have heard me out if I had just said something like, “You know, it really made me feel X when you did Y after I had told you Z.”

It all seems so simple…now!

I’m grateful for this situation because it helped me understand something about myself-that somehow I have learned an unhealthy/unhelpful communication habit of not speaking my truth immediately-and I learned a solution for overcoming the pain that such a habit can bring by simply having the courage to speak up when something is bothering me.

I know that this must seem very elementary to many people and I applaud them for being honest.  I want to be more like that in difficult situations.  I am wiling to bet that there is someone out there who still struggles with communication at times.

If you’re out there, I am happy to say that you are not alone and I believe there is hope for us!

Goodbye Squarespace, hello WordPress!

I’m very excited to get started on my WordPress journey and am looking forward to developing this site and transferring my posts from my old blog into this new one.

Out with the old blog, in with the new!

I know there will be a learning curve and an exercise in patience and I am thankful that I have a great team available to support me.

I’m looking forward to taking my blogging to the next level and I hope that what I put into this blog is multiplied and blesses others.  To all who read these words, thank you for being present with me in these moments.

I believe that this is the beginning to something great and I am excited for what develops

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I am Thankful for My Life

I woke up this morning to another beautiful, sunny day and realized what a gift it is to be alive one more day!

 

I am so thankful to live in a country that honors being thankful with a whole day to reflect on the abundance of blessings that is bestowed upon each one of us.  I feel especially blessed on this day to be able to enjoy some time off of work with my boyfriend who has 3 whole days off from law school!! 😀

My day was not “traditional” by any means, but it was perfect to me: waking up slowly and relaxing in bed, working out at our local Y in preparation of Thanksgiving dinner-at Denny’s! 🙂 It was yummy and it was super fun to go into San Diego and take in the sights of Ocean Beach.

On the way home we caught some beautiful views on our scenic route.  Now we’re relaxing after doing some cleaning, cooking and baking-it’s gluten free brownie time! All in all, it has been a very simple yet perfect and joyful day.  I’m so thankful for the gift of choosing to do what I desire and the means with which to do so.  Right now that choice is to enjoy a gin & tonic and snuggle up to watch a movie.  I hope that everyone’s day was this good and that the week only gets better from here!

Here we go again…

Hello there! I’m back after nearly a year-long hiatus and I’m very happy to announce that in that span of time I have:

1) Completed my Master’s Degree in Nursing Science (Woo-hoo!!)

2) Traveled to Hawaii and Cuba (totally awesome!!)

3) Initiated my investment plan

4) Lost about 20 pounds!! (hell to the yah mon!!!)

I am soooo excited to share more about these experiences and to be getting back to my blog as a reward after all my hard work.  It’s going to have to wait just a liiiittle bit longer though because I am about to give myself some well-deserved love and care, starting with a hot bubble bath and a pedicure…I may even throw some red zinfandel into the mix!

Whatever your day/week/month/year has been like, I hope that you will take the time to ask yourself what you need right now to feel loved and cared for.  Got it? Ok, now hop to it! See you soon!

 

 

Check out my YouTube channel!

I am uploading videos on a semi-regular basis of things that I am interested in…mostly birds and plants as there is no shortage of those beauties in and around my home!

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC02Me1IbQLbxO_nLmFjfbXw

Feel free to leave comments and any suggestions if there is something you would like for me to explore or investigate, I’m always ready for an adventure!

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